I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Can I color on your dick again?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize