My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
