my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
