sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
