She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
