hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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