Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
