everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Girls should come with a carfax report
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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