She said her name was "party"
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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