her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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