Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
