I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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