i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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