why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
