You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize