recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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