I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
