his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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