peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
