why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
