She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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