a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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