yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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