We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You smell like stripper and shame
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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