So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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