What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
