How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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