My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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