Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize