Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
