just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
