Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
