is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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