i would punch a child for taco bell
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
