I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
