I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
