What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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