is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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