yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
