You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
