i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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