Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
