Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
