he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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