Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
