fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
