I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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