I don't think brook has ever known best
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
