Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
