Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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