I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
