i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
