If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
