Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
