yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
