i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
you had me at cake vodka
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
