Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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