All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
