He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
