Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
