just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
