Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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